Babies are born with a strong need for closeness and security. In the womb, they’re used to constant movement, warmth, and the soothing sound of your heartbeat. Being held mimics this environment, making them feel safe and secure.

Understanding why your baby craves this closeness can help you find gentle ways to transition them to their bassinet. Here’s a closer look at the most common reasons:

1. Being Held During the Fourth Trimester

In the first three months of life, babies are still adjusting to the world outside the womb, often called the “fourth trimester.” In the womb, they experienced constant movement, warmth and the comforting sound of your heartbeat. Being held mimics this environment, making them feel safe and secure.

✨ Why It Matters:

• Your baby is used to feeling snug, warm, and in motion 24/7. Being placed on a flat, still surface can feel unsettling or even scary.
• During the fourth trimester, babies are biologically wired to seek comfort and security from their caregiver. It’s an evolutionary survival instinct that keeps them close to you for safety.

✨ What You Can Do:

• Swaddle Your Baby: If they’re not rolling yet, swaddling can help recreate the snug feeling of the womb. Learn more about swaddling in this blog post or check out our favorite swaddles here. (Tip: Swaddle with arms down to minimize the startle reflex.)
• Use White Noise: The steady hum mimics the whooshing sounds they heard in the womb, helping them feel more at ease.
• Gentle Movement: Rocking or swaying can help them transition from being held to the bassinet while still feeling that familiar motion.

2. Sleep Associations

Sleep associations are the habits or cues your baby relies on to fall asleep. If your baby is consistently rocked, nursed, or held to sleep, they may learn to associate this with falling asleep. When placed in the bassinet without those familiar sensations, they may wake up and cry for the comfort they’re used to.

✨ Why It Matters:

• Babies learn through repetition. If they’re always held to fall asleep, they naturally expect the same comfort every time they wake during the night.
• This association isn’t a “bad habit”, it’s simply what they’ve learned so far. But changing it requires teaching them a new, independent way to fall asleep.

✨ What You Can Do:

• Start Small: Begin by holding them until they’re drowsy, then placing them in the bassinet so they learn to fall asleep on their own.
• Create a Calming Bedtime Routine: Establish a consistent sequence of soothing activities (e.g., bath, feeding, lullaby) to signal that it’s time to sleep.
• Gradual Transition: If they wake and cry, offer comfort without picking them up right away, try gentle pats, rubbing or shushing to help them settle.

3. Startle Reflex (Moro Reflex)

Newborns have a strong startle reflex, also known as the Moro reflex. This involuntary movement can cause them to fling their arms out and arch their back, often waking them up. When held, your arms naturally prevent this reflex from startling them awake. But when placed flat in the bassinet, they’re more likely to jolt awake.

✨ Why It Matters:

• The startle reflex is a protective mechanism that babies are born with, but it can be disruptive to sleep.
• This reflex is most prominent in the first few months and typically fades around 4-6 months.

✨ What You Can Do:

• Swaddle for Security: A snug swaddle can help contain your baby’s arms and minimize the impact of the startle reflex. Just ensure it’s done safely and discontinue once they show signs of rolling.
• Use a Sleep Sack: Transition to a sleep sack when swaddling is no longer safe. It keeps them cozy while allowing safe movement.
• Lay Them Down Gently: When placing your baby in the bassinet, lower them slowly and keep your hands on them for a moment to provide a sense of security.

4. Bassinet Discomfort

Sometimes the issue isn’t about being held, it’s about the bassinet itself. If the bassinet feels cold, too flat, or unfamiliar, your baby might resist sleeping there. Babies are sensitive to temperature changes, and the transfer from your warm arms to a cooler mattress can be unsettling.

✨ Why It Matters:

• Babies are creatures of comfort. A cold, flat surface can be a shock compared to the warmth and softness of your arms. 
• If the bassinet is only used for sleep, it can feel like a strange, unfamiliar space to them.

✨ What You Can Do:

• Make it Familiar: Spend some awake, supervised time in the bassinet so your baby becomes comfortable with the space.
• Use White Noise and Sleep Cues: Playing white noise and using a familiar sleep sack can help create a more comforting, consistent environment.

It’s Not Your Fault

If your baby only sleeps when held, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault—and it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. It simply means your baby is seeking the comfort and security they naturally crave. With time, patience, and consistency, you can help them learn to sleep more independently.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, I’m here to help! I specialize in gentle, effective solutions that work for your baby and your family. We will create a customized sleep solution from day one– ensuring your baby develops healthy sleep habits and everyone gets the sleep they need!